Pride Week #2.
AMAZING – Much better then last week. We really enjoyed ourselves.
I am recounting our drive home, I really want Aaron to blog along with me as we are going through this together, but he gets home so much later then I do, and by the time we have dinner, we watch a bit of TV the evening is over. So I got his opinions after class and while driving home, as it is almost a 1 hour drive home.
We learned about attachment. We learned that our child will have a special attachment with us because we will love and nurture him/her and give him/her roots and family values that will last a life time. Just because we did not birth our child, they will love us the same because we created a stable family for them to thrive in. I think hearing that really helped our emotional states around the whole attachment issue we had in the back of our minds.
Our in class assignment was to write down our answers to a few questions…
*What is our plan for tomorrow?
*Where do we plan to be in 1 year? Who will you have by your side?
*Where do we plan to be in 5 years? Who will be by your side?
So we wrote down our heartfelt answers, and she took our papers and ripped them up! I was like WTH??? LOL
The purpose of this assignment was to show us even though we have a plan in mind, something can change that in an instant…I thought it was really nice that she mentioned, that she was sure we all thought we would be birth parents etc…and our fertility changed our path. This does not mean that we will loose our dream of having a child/family, we will just have to do it another way.
We got our reference sheet, so we picked our references and they should get a letter in the next 6 months or so.
I want to try Aaron and I blogging together about this process…but he comes home a lot later then I do, and I can write on break at work and then cross post between our blogs.
So last night the drive to PRIDE I was soooo nervous. Aaron told me not to be, but I feared being late, the traffic was horrible, and it was raining as well. We got there with 10 minutes to spare J
The course so far started off slow, we heard a lot of scary statistics, saw a video and got homework! LOL…
It really was what I thought it was going to be, they try and scare you off. They said it a few times last night, if you can not handle this, maybe this is not for you. I think the only thing that is getting us through is seeing a few friends of ours that have adopted and had a wonderful outcome. Aaron and I both said during it on break – Keep thinking of Adrien Dee and Rob. I am sure the course will pick up, last night I think everyone was very nervous, including us. We had to get up and do a presentation with our group on what adoption means, and why would a child be taken into custody etc…really opens up your eyes to what some of these amazing children have had to endure and what goes on in your community.
We got the papers to start our SAFE home study, police check, medical and financial information!!!! They said it might take up to 6 months to complete, which is fine, we are used to waiting, but they also told us it could take a year or two to get into PRIDE and we got in under 5 months J Fingers crossed!
Looking forward to next week’s classes.
8 More classes to go!
OMG PRIDE starts tomorrow night...Can you believe it?? It feels like just yesterday that we got the call, and I started getting teary eyed at work...it happens when in three years you finally get a glimmer of hope...Wow, I am nervous but soooo excited....we are on the journey to parenthood. WOW! Maybe our baby is out there right now...
Here is a little idea of what our training is about:
Education to prepare adoptive parents to meet the needs of adopted children is now recognized in Ontario as essential for all adoptions whether public, private or international.
PRIDE, the standardized educational program and SAFE, the homestudy assessment tool (SAFE) are used together to prepare all applicant families to foster or adopt children, allowing them wider choices for placement.
PRIDE (Parent Resources for Information, Development and Education) is a nine session course for a total of 27 hours of training that could be offered in a variety of ways, from once a week to sessions on weekends. Whenever possible, applicant participation in a PRIDE training program should be concurrent with the completion of their SAFE homestudy.
The PRIDE curriculum provides information to help prepare all adoptive parents for the responsibilities involved in raising their children and incorporates information about the following:
- Adoption and child welfare systems, processes and laws
- Attachment as a central issue in all adoptions
- Loss issues in adoption
- Impact of adoption on your own family
- Child development, child management and an overview of issues specific to the needs of adopted children
- The effects of neglect, lack of stimulation, abuse, institutionalization on children
- Identity formation and the importance of cultural and racial awareness
- The importance of connections and continuity for children
All PRIDE trainers have received comprehensive training and have been approved by the Ontario Association of Children’s Aid Societies which holds the Ontario license for PRIDE. Each session is led by co-leaders, one an adoption professional and the other an experienced adoptive or foster parent. They will address the learning needs of all group participants regardless of their specific adoption plans, as they explore their options.
Today marks the one year of Aaron's Gramma passing away. It was a Sunday and I told Aaron we should go and visit, as she was in the hospital again...For the year or longer leading up to Gramma's passing she was in and out of the hospital quite a bit.
That Sunday May 15th 2009, we went up for a drive to Collingwood. She was in the Collingwood Hospital. She looked to be in better spirits, had lunch with her and had a good chat. As we left we said our good-byes and our I love yous and started on the drive home. We both talked about how much better she looked this time and we never expected the call we got saying she passed away.
When we got the message to call someone back, I almost dropped the phone, because it could not be true. The amazing woman who raised my DH could not have passed away. It was a dreaded phone call from a distant relative of Aaron's who we have not spoken to in years calling to inform us "Gramma" passed away. She was not just his Gramma, she was his mother.
As Aaron and I sit here - one week away today - to starting our journey to parenthood - I think of Gramma with the utmost respect and admiration of what a wonderful job she did as a mother to him and how she played such an important role in my wonderful husbands life. Whenever Aaron talks about his childhood and all the wonderful ideas he has for our future children, Gramma is not far from the story...
As this day comes to a close, and it is not one I really want to dwell on, but thank Gramma Fern for being such a wonderful mother, and I hope I can do as good a job as she did raising Aaron. I hope to be just like her.
We love you Gramma! You were an amazing mother to Aaron, and I thank god every day for him having you in his life.
PS - Here is a picture...boy do we look young here
Still on cloud nine about our adoption - 16 days and counting! Can not wait to get started.
Finally got pics posted!! YAY ME :)
DH and I have done a lot of talking recently about our adoption and how exciting this next chapter in our lives will be. I always thought that I would chicken out or something silly because I wanted to be pregnant, but I have not…I get more excited as the time gets closer. I often wonder if I would still be upset if I saw newborns etc, buying the infant car seat that I would feel that pain that we have felt for the past 3 years (almost)…I have not had it in a while, maybe the adoption has given me strength to look forward. I feel at peace with our decision on how to start our, hopefully, growing family…I find myself look at toddlers more now then I did newborns and doing a lot of research on toddlers and items we should be looking at buying. I find excitement as this chapter starts. I also find myself opening up and not cringing when people at work or in daily life talk about their children. *not you ladies on this site* Watch now that I say that, something will happen and I will have a bad blog entry – but I feel good. I find myself with a spring in my step and a sunny outlook.
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